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Kom så skrattar vi.... :0)


Acke

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Det var en man som plötsligt blivit impotent. Efter flera veckors frustration bröt han till slut ihop och gick till läkaren.

Efter en grundlig undersökning säger doktorn:

- Jag har dåliga och goda nyheter. De dåliga är att musklerna runt din penis har förtvinat, och det är tyvärr obotligt.

Och de goda nyheterna? frågar mannen, med paniken i halsgropen:

- Det finns en experimentell behandling, men det kan slå fel.

Den går ut på att man implanterar musklerna från en elefantunges snabel i penis.

Mannen tänker över saken och säger så:

-Tja, jag kan inte tänka mig ett liv utan sex, och jag skulle ångra mig för evigt om jag inte försökte någonting, så vi prövar!!

Så läkaren utför ingreppet och allt går som planerat.

Några veckor senare går mannen ut med sin flickvän till en restaurang för att fira sin nya utrustning.

När de sitter till bords, känner han hur det rör sig i skrevet,mer och mer, tills det gör riktigt ont.

För att dämpa smärtan bestämmer han sig för att dra ner gylfen.

Plötsligt snor sig mandomen ut ur gylfen, glider över bordet och

greppar en källarfranska från brödkorgen, innan den försvinner ner i byxorna igen.

- Wow! säger den chockade flickvännen. Det var häftigt! Kan du göra det igen?

Med tårar i ögonen och högrött ansikte svarar mannen:

- Kanske, men jag vet inte om jag får plats med en fralla till i röven!

:D :D :D

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En stor norrlänning kommer in på systembolaget i södra sverige och ber expediten om 5 helrör

Absolut kurant . Pratsjuk likt norrlänningar är så står han tyst och bara stirrar i kassen medan

expediten plockar ner flaska för flaska där i.

För att bryta isen lite så säger expediten:

-Jasså , det ska till att snapsa lite i kväll.

Varvid norrlänningen sakta replikerar.

- Ne, riktig sprit gör jag själv, så de har jag några dunkar kvar av än.

De här fruktblasket ska ja kok' kräm på.

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The First Time....

I recall my first time with a condom, I was 16 or so.

I went in to buy a package of condoms. There was a beautiful woman

behind the counter, and she could see that I was new at it.

She handed me the package and asked, if I knew how to wear one.

I honestly answered, "No."

So she unwrapped the package, took one out and slipped over her thumb.

She cautioned me to make sure it was on tight and secure.

I apparently still looked confused. So she looked all around the store.

It was empty.

"Just a minute," she said, and walked to the door, and locked it. Taking

my hand, she led me into the back room, unbuttoned her blouse and

removed it .

She unhooked her bra and laid it aside. "Do these excite you?" she

asked.

Well, I was so dumb-struck that all I could do was nod my head. She then

said, it was time to slip the condom on. As I was slipping it on, she

dropped her skirt, removed her panties and laid down on a desk.

"Well, come on", she said, "We don't have much time."

So I climbed on her. It was so wonderful, that unfortunately, I could no

longer hold back and POW, I was done within a few minutes. She looked at

me with a frown.

"Did you put that condom on?"

I said, "I sure did," and held up my thumb to show her.

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The First Time....

I recall my first time with a condom, I was 16 or so.

I went in to buy a package of condoms. There was a beautiful woman

behind the counter, and she could see that I was new at it.

She handed me the package and asked, if I knew how to wear one.

I honestly answered, "No."

So she unwrapped the package, took one out and slipped over her thumb.

She cautioned me to make sure it was on tight and secure.

I apparently still looked confused. So she looked all around the store.

It was empty.

"Just a minute," she said, and walked to the door, and locked it. Taking

my hand, she led me into the back room, unbuttoned her blouse and

removed it .

She unhooked her bra and laid it aside. "Do these excite you?" she

asked.

Well, I was so dumb-struck that all I could do was nod my head. She then

said, it was time to slip the condom on. As I was slipping it on, she

dropped her skirt, removed her panties and laid down on a desk.

"Well, come on", she said, "We don't have much time."

So I climbed on her. It was so wonderful, that unfortunately, I could no

longer hold back and POW, I was done within a few minutes. She looked at

me with a frown.

"Did you put that condom on?"

I said, "I sure did," and held up my thumb to show her.

haha... go kille :lol: :prop:

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I dessa grillningstider kan det vara bra med ett tips hur man får ordentlig fart på glöden. En varning dock, var alltid försiktig med elden! ;)

”Our subject today is lighting charcoal grills. One of our favorite charcoal grill lighters is a guy named George Goble (really!!), a computer person in the Purdue University engineering department. Each year, Goble and a bunch of other engineers hold a picnic in West Lafayette, Indiana, at which they cook hamburgers on a big grill.

Being engineers, they began looking for practical ways to speed up the charcoal-lighting process. ”We started by blowing the charcoal with a hair dryer,” Goble told me in a telephone interview. ”Then we figured out that it would light faster if we used a vacuum cleaner.” If you know anything about (1) engineers and (2) guys in general, you know what happened: The purpose of the annual barbeque shifted from cooking hamburgers to seeing how fast they could light the charcoal.

From the vacuum cleaner, they escalated to using a propane torch, then an acetylene torch. Then Goble started using compressed pure oxygen, which caused the charcoal to burn much faster, because as you recall from chemistry class, fire is essentially the rapid combination of oxygen with a reducing agent (the charcoal). We discovered that a long time ago, somewhere in the valley between the Tigris and Euphrates rivers (or something along those lines). By this point, Goble was getting pretty good times. But in the world of competitive charcoal lighting, ”pretty good” does not cut the mustard.

Thus, Goble hit upon the idea of using—get ready—liquid oxygen. This is the form of oxygen used in rocket engines; it’s 295 degrees below zero and 600 times as dense as regular oxygen. In terms of releasing energy, pouring liquid oxygen on charcoal is the equivalent of throwing a live squirrel into a room containing 50 million Labrador retrievers.

On Goble’s World Wide Webpage: HTTP://GHG.ECN.PURDUE.EDU/ you can see actual photographs and mpeg video of Goble using a bucket attached to a 10-foot-long wooden handle to dump 3 gallons of liquid oxygen (not sold in stores) onto a grill containing 60 pounds of charcoal and a lit cigarette for ignition. [special note: Be sure the ignition source is ready before pouring the LOX—if not, each LOX-soaked charcoal bricket would have the explosive force of a stick of dynamite.]

What follows is the most impressive charcoal lighting I have ever seen, featuring a large fireball that according to Goble, reached 10,000 degrees Fahrenheit. The charcoal was ready for cooking in - this has to be a world record - 3 seconds. There’s also a photo of what happened when Goble used the same technique on a flimsy $2.88 discount-store grill. All that’s left is a circle of charcoal with a few shreds of metal in it. ”Basically, the grill vaporized,” said Goble. ”We were thinking of returning it to the store for a refund.”

Looking at Goble’s video and photos, I became, as an American, all choked up with gratitude at the fact that I do not live anywhere near the engineers’ picnic site. But also, I was proud of my country for producing guys who can be ready to barbecue in less time than it takes for guys in less-advanced nations, such as France, to spit.

Will the 3-second barrier ever be broken? Will engineers come up with a new, more powerful charcoal-lighting technology? It’s something for all of us to ponder this summer as we sit outside, chewing our hamburgers, every now and then glancing in the direction of West Lafayette, Indiana, looking for a mushroom cloud.

Enjoy....

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Jag fick på en riktig fullträff!!! :whistling:  :whistling:  :whistling:  132 M !!! :whistling:  :whistling:  :whistling:  Måste vara rekord!!! ;)

Grattis...det är nog oslagbart :thumbup:

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Har skjutit grodjäveln tusen gånger men de är fan omöjligt komma över 91m!!!!!!!!!

Nä, man blir frustrerad. Jag fick bara 78, fick ta till Photoshop och avreagera mig som ni kanske såg i mitt förra inlägg. :)

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Har skjutit grodjäveln tusen gånger men de är fan omöjligt komma över 91m!!!!!!!!!

Nä, man blir frustrerad. Jag fick bara 78, fick ta till Photoshop och avreagera mig som ni kanske såg i mitt förra inlägg. :)

Fick en på 92 nu :thumbup:

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Gah!! Fan va läskit!!

inte så läskit med tanke på att alla möjliga svar har samma figur framför sig sen blir det nya figurer hela tiden

Visst finns det ju en logisk eller matematisk förklaring till även den ,

men jag tycker sånna grejer är jobbiga ändå...

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